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An Open Letter To The Irish Government

I never thought I'd make it to 18. No, I was going to die. I thought I was going to kill myself because my internal world was unbareable. Thankfully, as seen in my last post, I was able to overcome, and here I am.

No thanks to the Irish government or health system.

The first psychologist I saw had a disgusting bedside manner. He seemed to judge me for the areas I had wanted to choose to cut. He made no attempt to make me comfortable, to help me articulate my feelings. He acted as if I wasn't human, as if I was a test subject from one of his books, not even looking at me to tell me I have depression.
The second psychologist I saw was in the same facility. I walked into his office, and he barely even knew my name. Flustered, he was skimming through my file, asking me questions he should have known, making the situation highly uncomfortable for me.
The counsellor I saw in that facility was not qualified for my situation. I was sixteen years old at the time, and she constantly asked me if I wanted to play with sand and I couldn't understand why. My mother looked her up, and lo and behold, she was a play therapist, suited for children. She started CBT with me, but didn't do much of it herself. She took out an old computer and made me go through CBT through an old computer game. When I wrote down my feelings, she told me I was wrong, and judged things I was anxious about. I was humiliated. She was rude to my parents and I, and essentially was paid for doing nothing.
The next psychologist I saw was a private one. She suggested CBT, and I told her I had gone through that, and didn't want to go through it again. I told her I just wanted to talk, and while she agreed talking helps people with anxiety, she didn't want to do that with me, she was insistent on CBT. When I didn't want to do that, she told me she didn't want to work with me.

My whole experience with the Irish mental health system can be defined in one word: dangerous.

I'm not the only person I have known to have negative experiences with this system. And now the government plans to withdraw millions from the budget.
They need to invest millions, because this is just insane. We don't even have a government at the minute, but they care much more about water charges than mental health.
Ten people a week die of suicide each week on this island.

Ten.

If this was due to a virus, this would be an epidemic.
I'm lucky to have reached 18. Our health system didn't help, but this has to change. I am a reason. We are a reason. No one deserves to feel that the only way to escape is suicide.

~
If your experiences are similar, I'm so sorry. If you've found a good counsellor, I'm so glad. If you're struggling, charities are a main helpline, such as childline, teenline, samaritans and many more.
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