justaoifethings

The following is an extract of a piece I wrote in 2013, and by the date, it was a few weeks before I was diagnosed with depression. I feel as someone who is recovering from depression, it can be hard to fully express what it can feel like, especially as I haven't been in such a dark place for at least a year. But this is what it feels like. "Wed 24/08/13 Um, I didn't feel sad, like yesterday, or angry, like a couple of weeks ago. I felt... empty. I don't like feeling empty. Like something may trigger a smile but I didn't feel happy. At least when I feel sad, things can make me feel happy too. I don't like feeling empty. I don't know whether it was some 'cleansing' thing from all my crying last night. But I don't like it. Yesterday I was sad and ANXIOUS. Today, I felt sick and empty. I smile on the outside, because I know something makes me smile and makes me happy,  but it's like I can't feel it. And it unnerves me. I felt a bit better