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School Anxiety

School hasn't started yet, but it's already killing me.
I have GAD, Generalised Anxiety Disorder. This means I have a constant inability to relax and my anxious triggers don't fall into one of the five common disorders (social anxiety, ptsd, etc). One of the biggest problems my anxiety deals with is school.
I missed over three months of school at one stage due to chronic anxiety and didn't complete the first state exam Irish students have, the Junior Cert.
Last year, I missed three weeks, obviously significantly better than three months, but I suffered terribly with panic attacks.
After three months of summer holidays and living like a normal person, I'm about to enter the last year of secondary school, the most stressful of all.
Due to anxiety, I have already begun to study for my final exams (known as the Leaving Cert.) and completed a project months ago that most people have barely looked at.
I start again on Tuesday and I have been feeling sick and exhausted, and fighting a panic attack.
I try to tell myself that I can go into school this year, and breathe.
I have learned a lot about dealing with my anxiety in the past two years, and I can put all I've learned into making the last year of secondary school as smooth, enjoyable and successful as possible.
And even though I know this, a ball of anxiety sits in my stomach. Ironically, I'm anxious about being anxious.
I'm afraid I'll over think things, and panic like I used to. I'm afraid of not getting what I want to achieve in my grades. I'm afraid of disappointing my teachers. I'm afraid I'll be a burden and annoyance to my friends because I do work at lunch and get to classes early to keep my anxiety at bay. I'm afraid of having bad days. I'm afraid of having a panic attack. I'm afraid of being ill and exhausted all year round again due to anxiety.
I know my anxiety is chronic, so I know other people might not be as consumed with anxiety over school as I am.
But school is what I'm afraid of.

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