No, life is not like a novel.
Unfortunately.
So one person will not come and understand all your woes and make life better. It's unfair to expect so much out of one person.
One person cannot be perfect. One person cannot understand everything you're going through, even if they have the same mental illness as you, no matter how much they'd like to. I've met multitudes of people with anxiety and depression. Some of us understand eachother and get along, and some of us just don't. And that's fine.
You cannot expect one person to fulfill your needs as a human.
I'm not telling you that you need a million friends or have to be a social butterfly. Just a few, so you don't rely on one person.
There's something about life today that makes us forget that others are humans, with emotions and needs. I learned the hard way that you cannot impose all your problems on one person. People tend to be kind and cautious when you're going through a tough time, so may not say that you're running them down. It's one thing talking to someone about your problems, but it's another to flood them with them, day after day and night after night. It's so important to have a support system instead of a support person.
That being said, I still predominately talk about my problems to one person, but I now am aware of the emotional toil it can impose on them, so I make sure to listen to their problems too. I know it's frustrating when you're telling somebody about your problem, and they say 'me too', but sometimes it's a sign that they're just as run down as you are.
Now I talk to a couple of different people, and they talk to me. Some of my friends I may not discuss my issues with, but they're aware of my mental illnesses. A quickly growing good friend of mine, Sarah, gives me a hug every time she sees me, and that really helps me out. She has never been afraid to express her affection, and on days when I'm down, that really makes me feel loved and wanted.
Another friend that I'm quickly becoming close to, Edie, is awesome for just having a casual chat to about anxiety. She is the first person I've met who seems to have similar anxiety tendencies, so neither of us find eachother's anxious triggers odd. We can calm eachother down and lift eachother up. My friend, Emer, who I've known since I was very young, is a bit of a rock for me. Unlike Edie and Sarah, she's not a particularly huggy person. She's a more of a strong silent type when it comes to emotions, but I know she cares, and we both feel free to get in contact with eachother and rant about our problems, even though we don't see eachother very often these days, thanks to uni. There's also my boyfriend (who would probably be unimpressed if I put his name here), and he's very huggy and emotionally open, which helps me out a lot.
If I relied on only one of these people, I wouldn't be in such a positive mental place as I am now. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. But together, I couldn't ask for a better friend group and support system. It took a while for me to find them all and open up to them all, so it's ok if you're feeling lonely right now. I met my boyfriend online, so if you're shy like me, internet friends are a totally valid way to go (just please make sure you're safe first and that the person is who they say they are). If you don't like talking about things in person, talk to your friends over messenger or whatsapp, like Emer and I do.
Whatever you do, get talking. It's ok to start with one person, but no one person is truly perfect (really, they're not, even if you feel like they are). So go find your Emer, your Edie, your Sarah, and your boyfriend who I won't name.
Form your support group, and you will feel the benefits.
---------
I post a new blog every week (or so, college and a novel in progress gets in the way), so check back!
Come say hi!
Twitter; @justaoifethings
Facebook: Justaoifethings
Instagram: Justaoifethings
Unfortunately.
So one person will not come and understand all your woes and make life better. It's unfair to expect so much out of one person.
One person cannot be perfect. One person cannot understand everything you're going through, even if they have the same mental illness as you, no matter how much they'd like to. I've met multitudes of people with anxiety and depression. Some of us understand eachother and get along, and some of us just don't. And that's fine.
You cannot expect one person to fulfill your needs as a human.
I'm not telling you that you need a million friends or have to be a social butterfly. Just a few, so you don't rely on one person.
There's something about life today that makes us forget that others are humans, with emotions and needs. I learned the hard way that you cannot impose all your problems on one person. People tend to be kind and cautious when you're going through a tough time, so may not say that you're running them down. It's one thing talking to someone about your problems, but it's another to flood them with them, day after day and night after night. It's so important to have a support system instead of a support person.
That being said, I still predominately talk about my problems to one person, but I now am aware of the emotional toil it can impose on them, so I make sure to listen to their problems too. I know it's frustrating when you're telling somebody about your problem, and they say 'me too', but sometimes it's a sign that they're just as run down as you are.
Now I talk to a couple of different people, and they talk to me. Some of my friends I may not discuss my issues with, but they're aware of my mental illnesses. A quickly growing good friend of mine, Sarah, gives me a hug every time she sees me, and that really helps me out. She has never been afraid to express her affection, and on days when I'm down, that really makes me feel loved and wanted.
Another friend that I'm quickly becoming close to, Edie, is awesome for just having a casual chat to about anxiety. She is the first person I've met who seems to have similar anxiety tendencies, so neither of us find eachother's anxious triggers odd. We can calm eachother down and lift eachother up. My friend, Emer, who I've known since I was very young, is a bit of a rock for me. Unlike Edie and Sarah, she's not a particularly huggy person. She's a more of a strong silent type when it comes to emotions, but I know she cares, and we both feel free to get in contact with eachother and rant about our problems, even though we don't see eachother very often these days, thanks to uni. There's also my boyfriend (who would probably be unimpressed if I put his name here), and he's very huggy and emotionally open, which helps me out a lot.
If I relied on only one of these people, I wouldn't be in such a positive mental place as I am now. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. But together, I couldn't ask for a better friend group and support system. It took a while for me to find them all and open up to them all, so it's ok if you're feeling lonely right now. I met my boyfriend online, so if you're shy like me, internet friends are a totally valid way to go (just please make sure you're safe first and that the person is who they say they are). If you don't like talking about things in person, talk to your friends over messenger or whatsapp, like Emer and I do.
Whatever you do, get talking. It's ok to start with one person, but no one person is truly perfect (really, they're not, even if you feel like they are). So go find your Emer, your Edie, your Sarah, and your boyfriend who I won't name.
Form your support group, and you will feel the benefits.
---------
I post a new blog every week (or so, college and a novel in progress gets in the way), so check back!
Come say hi!
Twitter; @justaoifethings
Facebook: Justaoifethings
Instagram: Justaoifethings
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