Skip to main content

Therapy Isn't Scary

Don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of bad therapists. But I currently have an excellent therapist. The latter seems to get ignored, and people who are entertaining the idea of counseling are bombarded with horror stories, which puts them off. So let's talk about the good stories.
I think there's a general stereotypical idea of therapists. An old man, who makes you lie on a couch, and doesn't do much but ask you to 'go on' every few minutes. I can tell you that my sessions are nothing like that. Whilst my therapist is a man, there's not an uncomfortable age gap between us. There is no weird couch. It often starts with him asking how my week has been. I tell him, and usually something weird has happened and we'll start with that. If not, he'll ask me how I want to use the time. I can just go and rant if I wish (and honestly, that's what I did last week). That being said, therapy isn't necessarily this clinical space. I have had a few laughs in my appointments. I told him that one day that I wore blue lipstick and my nana rang my mom in concern, and we had a laugh about it. I also told him about my first tattoo, and he cringed but chuckled at my mom's disapproval. I told him that I like to write, so he asked about that until I told him that I was writing a (very amateur) novel, and he was really enthusiastic about it, and wanted to know more.
In sessions where it does get emotionally taxing, there's no judgement on his part, which makes the whole thing far more comfortable. I'm a crier. I cry a lot, and I often feel embarrassed about it. Certain things make me cry with no exception. It came up in one session where I was feeling particularly vulnerable, as we sat on the floor, and were going through my memories, putting down rocks for bad ones, and flowers for good ones. I ended up apologising, saying that I cried over everything.
"Give yourself a break."
It made me feel ok. His demeanor doesn't change when I get upset, nor does he panic, which just keeps me calm.
I'm also educated during therapy. I now know that I'm exhausted due to anxiety, and how to combat that. I know know what happens to my brain and body when I have a panic attack.
I wrote a blog post way back when I started therapy, which you can read here. As you can see, therapy has exceeded my expectations. This is what therapy is supposed to be like. Relaxed, informative, helpful, client led. If I don't want to talk about anything, if there's something I don't want him to do, I just have to ask. But I haven't had to yet, because he's doing therapy right. And from what I hear, this is more common than not (but if you're in Ireland, do not go through CAMHS. It's awful. I don't know anyone who has had a good experience there. If you have no other option, perhaps try, but please be wary). If you're thinking about therapy, just go for it. If you can't afford it, do some research. There is options out there for you. My therapy is free, and I wouldn't be able to afford it otherwise.
If you want another more personal insight to therapy, Dodie Clark and Tessa Violet discuss it here (I follow Dodie on Snapchat too, she's very open about her mental health, which I find very comforting). They mention that not every therapist will suit you, and that's ok, and I think that's really important to remember going into this process.

-----------------------
I try to blog weekly. Uni is time consuming, but the posts get up, even if they're a little late!
Come say hi;
Twitter; @justaoifethings
Facebook; Justaoifethings
Instagram; Justaoifethings

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Unusual Coping Method

If you've read recent blog posts, you'll know I've recently finished my Leaving Cert (hence the erratic upload schedule). During it, I was surprising calm, and only cried over two exams. History failed me, unfortunately. But, I couldn't understand why I was so calm. Why wasn't Becky rearing her ugly head? When I thought about it, I realised something strange. All the exams I had done were a blur. I felt like I hadn't even done them. When I came out of an exam and was asked a question about the paper, I blanked. I just didn't remember. I was forgetting a lot of things in day to day life, and feeling numb. That's when I realised what I was doing, I wasn't being present. Feeling as if you're not present is a major symptom of anxiety, so I suppose it has become an unintentional coping method for me. I'd look in the mirror and think, Wow, I'm actually that person. That reflection is me! It's really hard to explain what this feeli...

Medication

I have always been the one who advocates for medication for mental health and its usefullness, but what happens when your medication doesn't work for you anymore? That is what had been happening to me recently (hence the complete lack of a schedule on this blog). I had been dealing with it until a point, until depression hit me hard, and for more than a couple of days this time. I had avoided going to the doctor because I didn't want to go back to switching between medications all the time, incase they made everything worse. When I was eventually forced to go, only my contraceptive pill was changed, at first. The doctor told me that she never would take me off my medcation, and for that, I was relieved. So many people ask when I'm coming off it, or are surprised when I'm still on it. People don't seem to realise that disorders and illnesses don't just go away (I wish they did, though). As I changed contraceptive pill, the low feeling of depression went away, b...

Feeling Anxious

Having anxiety, I regularly tend to feel anxious. I've been asked if it's excessive or extreme worry or stress, but no, it's not. It's anxiety, it's very different. Right now, I'm feeling particularly anxious. When I say this to a person without anxiety, they assume I'm feeling worried or stressed, which isn't the case. I feel like there's something massive weighing my chest down. I'm making a conscious effort to breathe, because if I don't, I will forget to do so. I feel as if a snake is making its way up my throat, trying to twist my oesophagus while its head rests on the back of my tongue. My head is spinning. It goes from one thought to the next and back again in a couple of seconds. My mind is transfixed on one thing that I'm anxious on, and I know that anxiety is making me think it's worse than it is. (Or is it? I don't know.) My senses are heightened. Every noise is irratating, and I can feel things through just a bru...