Skip to main content

Dear Becky

Dear Becky;
A new series I intend to continue. Becky is a big part of my life. Becky is my anxiety. If you have read my previous blog posts, you will know that naming my anxiety has given me great control and power, but Becky is still alive and can be strong.
I find great comfort in writing things down. It helps me to think rationally, something Becky fights hard to prevent.
Dear Becky will be my writing to Becky, to counteract the anxiety that she's called me. I will write to see what is real and what is Becky fuelled.
Will you find it interesting?
Maybe not. Unless you're interested in a mind corrupted with anxiety.
I know my mental health is the most important thing, and if it helps me cope with life, then that's amazing. If someone reads this, and learns how to deal with their own mental illness or learns how to understand someone in their life with a mental illness, then even better.

Dear Becky,
You were strong today. I don't know why. But I didn't let you take over completely, and I have a right to be proud of that. I did things today that scared me, and I have a right to be proud of that.
No one is mad at me, because I did not do anything out of malicious intent. I did not aggravate anyone. They are not mad at me.
You will talk to that teacher tomorrow, and it will be ok. He will appreciate you for finding him. It will calm you down for his future lessons. His methods are different than you're used to, but that's ok. If it really doesn't suit you, you can continue to do your own study. Even though you're frustrated at the exams he intends to give, you know it's not the end of the world. You're ahead in the study, so it's merely a recap, and that's fine, and it could benefit your study, so you'll definitely know everything. It won't take you long to learn, as it never does. You can do it at the weekends, and spend not even twenty minutes a morning on it, so what are you worrying about?
Nothing, Becky.
And that essay that's been niggling at you? You did countless essays of the same nature last year, and you were fine. You will have a start on Friday morning for forty minutes, and will probably get at least a page done, possibly a page and a half, maybe more! You know what, maybe more. You might get nearly half of it done. It's no bother to you, you know what you're doing, and so there's nothing to worry about.
Even though I get anxious sometimes, it doesn't mean I'm going to fail. I'm going to succeed because I'm working to.
Having anxiety is ok. But I'm not letting you take over me, because I'm capable of so much, and it'd be a shame for you to hold me back.
Until next time,
Aoife

https://m.facebook.com/justaoifethings

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cycle Against Suicide

An organisation set up by Jim Breen, where thousands of people cycle through Ireland every year, to break the cycle of suicide. Cleverly placed pun. Today, the lovely Mr Breen came to my school and talked to all seven hundred plus of us. In the back, wearing a disgustingly bright orange shirt in support (and feeling decidedly Dutch), I was struggling not to cry. Not that he was being morbid. He didn't delve into details of his depression, or any gruesome details of suicide. He spoke in such a way that was amazing. He spoke to us in a way that reached all levels of understanding in relation to mental health. He was able to educate those who have never experienced a mental monster, without boring them, or frightening them off the topic. Though, even with such sensitivity, he was able to touch those who had suffered mental illness. It was like a little nod to us. We knew we were understood, that he understood. For me, that is always extremely emotional. For someone to understa...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Birds of 1916

Birds flew high over Dublin City When the first shot was fired Startled, they watched As the famous street descended into chaos Roars were thrown Screams struggled to stay in Tears drowned But nothing stopped Men from two sides If they could even yet be called men Attacked eachother And the birds could not figure out why A hundred years later The blood had long been gone from the famous street And something was different in the air ~ It's almost the centenary of the 1916 Easter Rising! We remember the men and women who fought for Ireland to be a free and democratic nation, those that died in the fight and those who were executed after to set the pathway for a new nation. I felt the best way I could commemorate this was to do what I know best; to write Hope you enjoyed! I write a new blog every Wednesday Facebook: justaoifethings Twitter: @justaoifethings Instagram: @justaoifethings
Post a Comment
Read more

Friends and Mental Health

No, life is not like a novel. Unfortunately. So one person will not come and understand all your woes and make life better.  It's unfair to expect so much out of one person. One person cannot be perfect. One person cannot understand everything you're going through, even if they have the same mental illness as you, no matter how much they'd like to. I've met multitudes of people with anxiety and depression. Some of us understand eachother and get along, and some of us just don't. And that's fine. You cannot expect one person to fulfill your needs as a human. I'm not telling you that you need a million friends or have to be a social butterfly. Just a few, so you don't rely on one person. There's something about life today that makes us forget that others are humans, with emotions and needs. I learned the hard way that you cannot impose all your problems on one person. People tend to be kind and cautious when you're going through a tough time,...
Post a Comment
Read more