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How to Deal With Someone Who Doesn't Understand Mental Illness

There's people in this world who don't understand mental illness. That's ok. I know I have discussed in frustration before people's sheer ignorance, but I don't plan on doing that today. I understand that it's easy to get annoyed when people are blatantly rude and uneducated about mental health, but, getting angry will help no-one, especially not you.
Sometimes, when I feel that people are on the edge of attacking me over my anxiety and depression, I have to take a step back. I have to remember that these are people who have not gone through what I have gone through and have no idea how difficult mental illness can be. Sometimes I wonder if they honestly don't mean to downplay the severity of mental health, but rather are asking blunt questions or making direct comments in an attempt to understand or help. It must be easy to not realise how life-consuming your illness is, when all they is your 'put together' self. They will see this;








And they will see this online and in person, and not realise that this;


can happen in the same day, often away from what people can see. I had a really severe panic attack that day, and only one person saw it. I even had dinner with other people about an hour afterwards, and no one picked up on the fact that my panic disorder had caused me so much pain. It is easy to hide things, which I think a lot of people don't understand (which, in itself, is understandable if you do not have to hide so much on a daily basis in order to be functional). To explain, I like to tell people to imagine they're in work, but they're upset. They want to get into bed and cry over some situation but can't because life must go on for the time being. When they go home, imagine the release, and being able to break down and cry. That is somewhat similar to keeping your mental illness in check throughout the day. I may be a 'high-functioning' person with depression and anxiety, but all that really means is that I can do normal every day things for a while, before dealing with my mental illnesses in the comfort of my own home.
Sometimes people will come to you with advise that you know won't help. I've been told to believe I will be cured (of a disorder - that cannot happen), and to be aware of my language and actions (effectively I was told I was making myself anxious). Again, it's easy to get angered by this. It's frustrating when people suddenly become experts on something they don't understand. Even though I deal with mental illness, I am wary about giving advise to people, because I know that everyone is unique and no two brains are the same. That being said, even though I often don't like the wording of these suggestions, I try to confront them with rationality and calmness. If you retaliate with aggression, you could make things much more difficult for yourself. If you respond with facts on how you experience life, and how you feel, no-one can say that you're wrong, and you may just teach someone something.
Imagine going up to a surgeon, asking them questions, being curious and asking why they don't do x instead of y. They might feel like rolling their eyes sometimes, or getting frustrated, or maybe suppress a laugh as you completely undermine something extremely important. I think that's what it can be like with people who have no experience with mental health. It's annoying, sometimes upsetting, but I think the best thing you can do is be calm, collected and educate them as much as possible.
Unless they are being totally (and intentionally) rude and aggressive, mocking mental illness or being threatening. Call them out, but do what you need to do in order to keep your mental health at it's best. You and your health will always come first, so if you don't feel up to the task of educating today, that's ok.




As always, feel free to share experiences, and please be respectful. I post every week or so, so check back for more content!
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