Skip to main content

How to Deal With Someone Who Doesn't Understand Mental Illness

There's people in this world who don't understand mental illness. That's ok. I know I have discussed in frustration before people's sheer ignorance, but I don't plan on doing that today. I understand that it's easy to get annoyed when people are blatantly rude and uneducated about mental health, but, getting angry will help no-one, especially not you.
Sometimes, when I feel that people are on the edge of attacking me over my anxiety and depression, I have to take a step back. I have to remember that these are people who have not gone through what I have gone through and have no idea how difficult mental illness can be. Sometimes I wonder if they honestly don't mean to downplay the severity of mental health, but rather are asking blunt questions or making direct comments in an attempt to understand or help. It must be easy to not realise how life-consuming your illness is, when all they is your 'put together' self. They will see this;








And they will see this online and in person, and not realise that this;


can happen in the same day, often away from what people can see. I had a really severe panic attack that day, and only one person saw it. I even had dinner with other people about an hour afterwards, and no one picked up on the fact that my panic disorder had caused me so much pain. It is easy to hide things, which I think a lot of people don't understand (which, in itself, is understandable if you do not have to hide so much on a daily basis in order to be functional). To explain, I like to tell people to imagine they're in work, but they're upset. They want to get into bed and cry over some situation but can't because life must go on for the time being. When they go home, imagine the release, and being able to break down and cry. That is somewhat similar to keeping your mental illness in check throughout the day. I may be a 'high-functioning' person with depression and anxiety, but all that really means is that I can do normal every day things for a while, before dealing with my mental illnesses in the comfort of my own home.
Sometimes people will come to you with advise that you know won't help. I've been told to believe I will be cured (of a disorder - that cannot happen), and to be aware of my language and actions (effectively I was told I was making myself anxious). Again, it's easy to get angered by this. It's frustrating when people suddenly become experts on something they don't understand. Even though I deal with mental illness, I am wary about giving advise to people, because I know that everyone is unique and no two brains are the same. That being said, even though I often don't like the wording of these suggestions, I try to confront them with rationality and calmness. If you retaliate with aggression, you could make things much more difficult for yourself. If you respond with facts on how you experience life, and how you feel, no-one can say that you're wrong, and you may just teach someone something.
Imagine going up to a surgeon, asking them questions, being curious and asking why they don't do x instead of y. They might feel like rolling their eyes sometimes, or getting frustrated, or maybe suppress a laugh as you completely undermine something extremely important. I think that's what it can be like with people who have no experience with mental health. It's annoying, sometimes upsetting, but I think the best thing you can do is be calm, collected and educate them as much as possible.
Unless they are being totally (and intentionally) rude and aggressive, mocking mental illness or being threatening. Call them out, but do what you need to do in order to keep your mental health at it's best. You and your health will always come first, so if you don't feel up to the task of educating today, that's ok.




As always, feel free to share experiences, and please be respectful. I post every week or so, so check back for more content!
Come say hi!
I post a new blog every week, so check back for mor
Come say hi!
Twitter; @justaoifethings
Facebook: Justaoifethings
Instagram: Justaoifethings

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

#WeStandWithZoe

Media, you've done it again. An article was released about a seemingly scandalous photo from the well known Youtuber, Zoe Sugg, also known as Zoella. Zoe really needs no introduction. With a mass following around the world, she has a whopping 10 million YouTube subscribers (and counting), a successful blog, a gorgeous beauty range, two best selling books, has worked with charities and has brought awareness to anxiety disorders. Of course, this level of success means that Zoe is in the limelight. Like anyone who is popular in a social career, she's under the scrutiny of the media. Seen below is a photo Zoe uploaded on her snapchat, and, oh gasp, a tiny peek of underwear. Of course, this article is released, seemingly trying to shame Zoe for being 'revealing'. Don't get me wrong, if Zoe wanted to put herself naked on the internet, I wouldn't care. But, she is obviously trying to be shamed, and just because she's a woman. With tabloid story after tabloid...

Cycle Against Suicide

An organisation set up by Jim Breen, where thousands of people cycle through Ireland every year, to break the cycle of suicide. Cleverly placed pun. Today, the lovely Mr Breen came to my school and talked to all seven hundred plus of us. In the back, wearing a disgustingly bright orange shirt in support (and feeling decidedly Dutch), I was struggling not to cry. Not that he was being morbid. He didn't delve into details of his depression, or any gruesome details of suicide. He spoke in such a way that was amazing. He spoke to us in a way that reached all levels of understanding in relation to mental health. He was able to educate those who have never experienced a mental monster, without boring them, or frightening them off the topic. Though, even with such sensitivity, he was able to touch those who had suffered mental illness. It was like a little nod to us. We knew we were understood, that he understood. For me, that is always extremely emotional. For someone to understa...

Dear Becky

Dear Becky; A new series I intend to continue. Becky is a big part of my life. Becky is my anxiety. If you have read my previous blog posts, you will know that naming my anxiety has given me great control and power, but Becky is still alive and can be strong. I find great comfort in writing things down. It helps me to think rationally, something Becky fights hard to prevent. Dear Becky will be my writing to Becky, to counteract the anxiety that she's called me. I will write to see what is real and what is Becky fuelled. Will you find it interesting? Maybe not. Unless you're interested in a mind corrupted with anxiety. I know my mental health is the most important thing, and if it helps me cope with life, then that's amazing. If someone reads this, and learns how to deal with their own mental illness or learns how to understand someone in their life with a mental illness, then even better. Dear Becky, You were strong today. I don't know why. But I didn't let ...