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Feeling fat

"I am fat."
I think this to myself most days.
Am I actually overweight? No.
I'm five foot eight and eight stone ten pounds. In reality, I'm rather thin. Doctors warn me to not lose any weight, people regularly comment on my size and relatives give me as much food as possible.
But I feel fat.
Feel.
That's the keyword.
Feeling fat and being fat are two very different things.
When I feel fat, I eat something and feel ridiculously guilty. I feel as if my stomach is protruding. I feel as of people stare at me in disgust. I stare in the mirror and scrutinise myself. Especially my stomach.
I study myself, and pull at every ounce of fat I can find. When I feel fat, I measure my weight whenever I can.
I starve myself, I exercise until I gag, and all because I feel fat.
Why do I feel fat?
I'm not sure. I've been too afraid to tell many people. I do have GAD, a chronic anxiety disorder that gives the sufferer the inability to relax. When I'm feeling particularly anxious, I feel fat and eat very little. Many people with anxiety also have eating disorders, but I'd like to believe I don't have one. I have never been underweight and never drop beneath eight stone eight pounds.
Am I suffering from an eating disorder? No.
I'm just feeling fat.

With the blogger website confusing me, here is a Facebook page for the links :3 hope you're enjoying my thoughts so far;
https://m.facebook.com/justaoifethings

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