You can't do that.
I'm told this a lot by my mother.
She's anxious, and she probably means it with all good intentions.
But to me, it makes me feel like I'm not good enough.
I feel like I can't wear the clothes I enjoy.
I feel like I can't get the grades I need for the uni I've dreamed of going to.
I feel like I can't be independent.
I feel like I'm not good enough.
In June, I'll be moving out. My boyfriend and I will be working part time whilst going to college, and she's insisting we won't be able to afford it. She insists we'll be too stressed. She insists we won't enjoy college. She insists
You can't do that.
She wants me to live in my grandmothers and for my boyfriend to live on his own, which angers me. Why should I live somewhere rent free when he struggles on his own?
We want to live together. We've lived in different countries our entire relationship, and we want to live together now.
We don't care if we don't have money to go out, seemingly my mother's biggest concern. Neither of us go out often, and you don't need a fortune to have a good time anyway.
We don't mind if we live with other people or on our own, but she doesn't get that.
You can't do it.
You can't do it.
You can't do it.
Translation in my head?
You're not good enough.
I have always been the one who advocates for medication for mental health and its usefullness, but what happens when your medication doesn't work for you anymore? That is what had been happening to me recently (hence the complete lack of a schedule on this blog). I had been dealing with it until a point, until depression hit me hard, and for more than a couple of days this time. I had avoided going to the doctor because I didn't want to go back to switching between medications all the time, incase they made everything worse. When I was eventually forced to go, only my contraceptive pill was changed, at first. The doctor told me that she never would take me off my medcation, and for that, I was relieved. So many people ask when I'm coming off it, or are surprised when I'm still on it. People don't seem to realise that disorders and illnesses don't just go away (I wish they did, though). As I changed contraceptive pill, the low feeling of depression went away, b...
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