I feel consistently happy for the first time since... ever. I don't remember ever being consistently happy.
I thought this time in my life would be awful. I'm in my final year of school, and I thought the pressures of looming exams would anger my anxiety.
But it's not.
This is also the first time in a long time that I've been consistently calm.
I don't know what I did. I don't know what's different. I'm confused as to why I'm so happy and calm. I'm presuming I'm happy because I'm not anxious all the time. My anxiety has numbed greatly, having only had one panic attack in the past few months. I have no idea what caused that either. I wonder if it's because the life I've been planning for is just around the corner.
I don't know why, but things got better.
I suppose that is always the way of mental illness, if you give it time.
I have always been the one who advocates for medication for mental health and its usefullness, but what happens when your medication doesn't work for you anymore? That is what had been happening to me recently (hence the complete lack of a schedule on this blog). I had been dealing with it until a point, until depression hit me hard, and for more than a couple of days this time. I had avoided going to the doctor because I didn't want to go back to switching between medications all the time, incase they made everything worse. When I was eventually forced to go, only my contraceptive pill was changed, at first. The doctor told me that she never would take me off my medcation, and for that, I was relieved. So many people ask when I'm coming off it, or are surprised when I'm still on it. People don't seem to realise that disorders and illnesses don't just go away (I wish they did, though). As I changed contraceptive pill, the low feeling of depression went away, b...
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