Skip to main content

LDR - Birthdays

It was my boyfriends eighteenth birthday yesterday.
I couldn't be there.
My package for him didn't even arrive on time.
It's a gut wrenching feeling, missing out on such important events. I'm only ever behind a screen for him.
A feeling of helplessness engulfs you. You can't celebrate an important day in his life, not properly, anyway. The little piece of me I sent didn't even get there yet, which is incredibly infuriating.
He doesn't care for celebrating birthdays much, and nor do I, but not even being able to give him a hug on a significant day hurts.
I know we've been apart for birthdays before. I know I'm going to miss his graduation, which kills me. I'll still be in school by that time, due to how our final exams work out, but I'll miss a celebration that won't come again.
There's so many articles on how to cope with LDRs. Send them this, send them that, do this, say that.
But when you miss important milestones in your loved ones life, these things are rendered useless.
At the end of the day, an LDR will hurt. The person you're waiting for and an end date is the only things that will get you through.

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Unusual Coping Method

If you've read recent blog posts, you'll know I've recently finished my Leaving Cert (hence the erratic upload schedule). During it, I was surprising calm, and only cried over two exams. History failed me, unfortunately. But, I couldn't understand why I was so calm. Why wasn't Becky rearing her ugly head? When I thought about it, I realised something strange. All the exams I had done were a blur. I felt like I hadn't even done them. When I came out of an exam and was asked a question about the paper, I blanked. I just didn't remember. I was forgetting a lot of things in day to day life, and feeling numb. That's when I realised what I was doing, I wasn't being present. Feeling as if you're not present is a major symptom of anxiety, so I suppose it has become an unintentional coping method for me. I'd look in the mirror and think, Wow, I'm actually that person. That reflection is me! It's really hard to explain what this feeli...
Post a Comment
Read more

Dear Becky

Dear Becky; A new series I intend to continue. Becky is a big part of my life. Becky is my anxiety. If you have read my previous blog posts, you will know that naming my anxiety has given me great control and power, but Becky is still alive and can be strong. I find great comfort in writing things down. It helps me to think rationally, something Becky fights hard to prevent. Dear Becky will be my writing to Becky, to counteract the anxiety that she's called me. I will write to see what is real and what is Becky fuelled. Will you find it interesting? Maybe not. Unless you're interested in a mind corrupted with anxiety. I know my mental health is the most important thing, and if it helps me cope with life, then that's amazing. If someone reads this, and learns how to deal with their own mental illness or learns how to understand someone in their life with a mental illness, then even better. Dear Becky, You were strong today. I don't know why. But I didn't let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Election Day

2016 is a year of political decisions fueled by hatred. Donald Trump is now president of the United States of America. I want to explain first of all, why is he should not have this occupation. Firstly, his father was arrested at a Ku Klux Klan rally, and sued over the fact he flat out refused to rent property to African-Americans.   (1) This does not make him a bad person, but it is inevitable that your parents will influence the way you become. Much like his children, he had a negative role model. He has become a negative role model not just for his children, but for parents around the US. They pass on this hate to their children. "The SPLC's Teaching Tolerance Programme conducted a survey of teachers, and found a disturbing increase in bullying and, in particular, in bigoted harassment, especially toward vulnerable groups like immigrants, Muslims and others who've been targeted by Trump. In some cases, Trump's very name was used as a threatening ta...
Post a Comment
Read more