It was my boyfriends eighteenth birthday yesterday.
I couldn't be there.
My package for him didn't even arrive on time.
It's a gut wrenching feeling, missing out on such important events. I'm only ever behind a screen for him.
A feeling of helplessness engulfs you. You can't celebrate an important day in his life, not properly, anyway. The little piece of me I sent didn't even get there yet, which is incredibly infuriating.
He doesn't care for celebrating birthdays much, and nor do I, but not even being able to give him a hug on a significant day hurts.
I know we've been apart for birthdays before. I know I'm going to miss his graduation, which kills me. I'll still be in school by that time, due to how our final exams work out, but I'll miss a celebration that won't come again.
There's so many articles on how to cope with LDRs. Send them this, send them that, do this, say that.
But when you miss important milestones in your loved ones life, these things are rendered useless.
At the end of the day, an LDR will hurt. The person you're waiting for and an end date is the only things that will get you through.
An organisation set up by Jim Breen, where thousands of people cycle through Ireland every year, to break the cycle of suicide. Cleverly placed pun. Today, the lovely Mr Breen came to my school and talked to all seven hundred plus of us. In the back, wearing a disgustingly bright orange shirt in support (and feeling decidedly Dutch), I was struggling not to cry. Not that he was being morbid. He didn't delve into details of his depression, or any gruesome details of suicide. He spoke in such a way that was amazing. He spoke to us in a way that reached all levels of understanding in relation to mental health. He was able to educate those who have never experienced a mental monster, without boring them, or frightening them off the topic. Though, even with such sensitivity, he was able to touch those who had suffered mental illness. It was like a little nod to us. We knew we were understood, that he understood. For me, that is always extremely emotional. For someone to understa...
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