Skip to main content

Giving A Name To Your Mental Illness

If you've read my blog before, you will have noticed my "Dear Becky" series. To amend any confusion, Becky is my GAD (anxiety).
A mental illness. It's an evil entity, but it only fights for its own survival. No-one could really say that's wrong, as that's what we all do. But when a survival method becomes destructive, it's hated and loathed. 'Becky' seems like such a trivial name to give something so dark.

They say giving something a name gives it power, and that's why I held off. But when the name was christened, the power was thrown onto me.
I didn't feel weak anymore.
I was able to take control. Then Becky wasn't such a dark entity anymore.
She was still strong, capable of corrupting my mind, taking over my body, paralysing me.
But I had grasped some control.
I was determined to fight for my own survival, as Becky had fought for hers. She had fought long and hard and was no stranger to overkill, but with the simple act of naming 'It', I was finally ready to retake myself, to retake my mind.

When that fear was lost, I became more powerful than anything Becky could ever throw at me. I was able to prevent her from possessing my body and make it act under her will. I could frighten away the thoughts she forced into my brain.
At the thoughts of dying, Becky sometimes became more aggressive, and would win a battle here and there. But I am determined that I will win this war, and she will no longer infect my mind.

All minds are terribly susceptible to corruption. Minds are fragile and influenced in some manner everyday. Our minds are frightening, and mental illness scares even the bravest of us.
If we don't understand, we are scared. If we don't understand, we ignore.
And when we ignore the mentally ill, their minds can be wholly infected with a dark ocean.
Sometimes, we are beaten down into the darkness with just a simple word.
Minds are so vulnerable.
Sick minds are not weak. They are not crazy. They are not inhuman.
Becky is a part of me. Millions of others have their own Becky, and that's ok.
We'd prefer to be without them, but they make us who we are and we are so much more than our mental illnesses.

So fight your own Becky. Think of them as a little monster inside your head that you're not afraid to confront. You can fight them, and even if it takes a hundred shots, you'll win.
A warrior should never stop fighting, and should never be afraid to ask for help.
Help is never a sign of weakness. It's a sign of humanity and strength.

Whatever your Becky, know a light is there, somewhere.
You just have to find your way through the darkness to find it.

Hope you enjoyed this blog post, and hopefully it'll help you or someone you know.
I post every Wednesday, but for reminders, you can follow me on these social medias;
Facebook; justaoifethings
Twitter; @justaoifethings
Instagram; justaoifethings  (I don't always post about blog posts there though)

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Unusual Coping Method

If you've read recent blog posts, you'll know I've recently finished my Leaving Cert (hence the erratic upload schedule). During it, I was surprising calm, and only cried over two exams. History failed me, unfortunately. But, I couldn't understand why I was so calm. Why wasn't Becky rearing her ugly head? When I thought about it, I realised something strange. All the exams I had done were a blur. I felt like I hadn't even done them. When I came out of an exam and was asked a question about the paper, I blanked. I just didn't remember. I was forgetting a lot of things in day to day life, and feeling numb. That's when I realised what I was doing, I wasn't being present. Feeling as if you're not present is a major symptom of anxiety, so I suppose it has become an unintentional coping method for me. I'd look in the mirror and think, Wow, I'm actually that person. That reflection is me! It's really hard to explain what this feeli...
Post a Comment
Read more

Dear Becky

Dear Becky; A new series I intend to continue. Becky is a big part of my life. Becky is my anxiety. If you have read my previous blog posts, you will know that naming my anxiety has given me great control and power, but Becky is still alive and can be strong. I find great comfort in writing things down. It helps me to think rationally, something Becky fights hard to prevent. Dear Becky will be my writing to Becky, to counteract the anxiety that she's called me. I will write to see what is real and what is Becky fuelled. Will you find it interesting? Maybe not. Unless you're interested in a mind corrupted with anxiety. I know my mental health is the most important thing, and if it helps me cope with life, then that's amazing. If someone reads this, and learns how to deal with their own mental illness or learns how to understand someone in their life with a mental illness, then even better. Dear Becky, You were strong today. I don't know why. But I didn't let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Counseling

If you know me at all, you will know that I have repeatedly stated that counseling is just not for me. I think I may have been wrong. Last week, I had my first ever positive therapy experience, after almost four years of being in and out of counseling offices. I decided to self-refer to my university's counseling service. I thought that I'd give it one last shot. I went to an occupational therapist, and I'd already used the coping mechanisms she suggested. I really didn't want that to be it. I didn't want to think that my current mental state was the best it was ever going to get. Although much better than it was, it's still not great. I was booked in within a month, not bad with a waiting list of over a hundred people. I went to the waiting room and I started to panic. My eyes were threatening tears. I texted my boyfriend. "I'm scared and I want to go home." What if this was going to be the same as before? What if I ...
Post a Comment
Read more