Skip to main content

My Cycle Against Suicide Speech

Cycle against suicide is an organisation to break the cycle of suicide.
Note the very clever name.
I've written about this awesome organisation before here.
A group of cyclists led by Jim Breen cycle around Ireland, brining a message that it's ok not to be ok, and it's ok to ask for help.
I have always been very vocal about mental health in my school, so when teachers approached me to write this speech, and cycle against suicide kindly allowed it, I was delighted to do so.

~

I, like one in three of you, if not even more, suffer from mental illness. I have a severe form of anxiety called GAD and have had depression so bad, that I was on the brink of suicide. And I know that sounds scary, but the point is that I'm still here.

My mental health really started to go down the drain when I was in third year. As I'm sure the present third years know, the junior cert can be daunting. That, mixed with personal problems outside of school, triggered a mental breakdown. I started having panic attacks, and I was terrified because I had no idea what was happening to me, physically or mentally. It was so bad that I missed months of school and never did my junior cert. Though, thankfully,  through all this, I didn't listen to all the lies depression feeds us, and I didn't take the step to take my life. Instead, I did one simple thing that ultimately saved my life... And that was to talk.

Now, I know some of you may think that that was cliché, but it's true. Talking to someone, anyone who you trust, about what you're feeling, will take a massive weight off your shoulders. And I know that probably for many of you, the thought of talking about your mental health is filling you with nerves and making you feel sick. But it's really OK to talk about, and there's no need to be nervous.  Whether it be family, friends, professionals or a helpline, just get your feelings out in the open, so you can make sense of what's going on in your head, and other people can help you.

So why am I telling you to talk instead of a step by step guide to recovery? Because as human beings, we are all unique and each pathway to recovery is different. I tried counselling for about six months and it was not for me, though I know other people who swear by it. I am on medication every day and have been for about two years, but it took a few changes to find the right one. Personally, I found that finally getting a diagnosis, researching my illness and naming it help me greatly.
Recovery is a winding road. I'm feeling much better now than I was in third year, but I still have panic attacks, I still have depressive episodes.
But I am here, finishing education, making friends, and having a life, something I genuinely believed that mental illness had taken away from me.
But you are not your mental illness. Each of you are wonderfully unique humans. Talking about your problems shines a light upon a healthy life that we sometimes believe to be impossible.
So, if you take anything away from today, it is to please talk to someone about how you're feeling, no matter how big or small you think your problems are. Because I promise that someone cares. I promise that it can and will get better.
I'm living proof.

*Update
I gave this speech this morning, and I had the most amazing response. There were tears and hugs in the audience as they rose to stand and clap, and I was so amazed, I cried as the lovely Jim Breen gave me a hug. Afterwards, I got uncountable amounts of hugs, so I genuinely hope I connected with and helped some people.
To the man who told me about his son, I'm so sorry you lost him. I hope you find this post since you were going to look for it.

Video here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B2ljdtrhK48mSk1uckZWN1l4Q3c/view
~
You are never alone in any of your struggles.
I post a new blog every week, so check back, catch up and keep updated!
justaoifethings.blogspot.com
Other social media:
Facebook; justaoifethings
Twitter; @justaoifethings
Instagram; justaoifethings
Have a fecking fabulous day

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Unusual Coping Method

If you've read recent blog posts, you'll know I've recently finished my Leaving Cert (hence the erratic upload schedule). During it, I was surprising calm, and only cried over two exams. History failed me, unfortunately. But, I couldn't understand why I was so calm. Why wasn't Becky rearing her ugly head? When I thought about it, I realised something strange. All the exams I had done were a blur. I felt like I hadn't even done them. When I came out of an exam and was asked a question about the paper, I blanked. I just didn't remember. I was forgetting a lot of things in day to day life, and feeling numb. That's when I realised what I was doing, I wasn't being present. Feeling as if you're not present is a major symptom of anxiety, so I suppose it has become an unintentional coping method for me. I'd look in the mirror and think, Wow, I'm actually that person. That reflection is me! It's really hard to explain what this feeli...

Dear Becky

Dear Becky; A new series I intend to continue. Becky is a big part of my life. Becky is my anxiety. If you have read my previous blog posts, you will know that naming my anxiety has given me great control and power, but Becky is still alive and can be strong. I find great comfort in writing things down. It helps me to think rationally, something Becky fights hard to prevent. Dear Becky will be my writing to Becky, to counteract the anxiety that she's called me. I will write to see what is real and what is Becky fuelled. Will you find it interesting? Maybe not. Unless you're interested in a mind corrupted with anxiety. I know my mental health is the most important thing, and if it helps me cope with life, then that's amazing. If someone reads this, and learns how to deal with their own mental illness or learns how to understand someone in their life with a mental illness, then even better. Dear Becky, You were strong today. I don't know why. But I didn't let ...

Counseling

If you know me at all, you will know that I have repeatedly stated that counseling is just not for me. I think I may have been wrong. Last week, I had my first ever positive therapy experience, after almost four years of being in and out of counseling offices. I decided to self-refer to my university's counseling service. I thought that I'd give it one last shot. I went to an occupational therapist, and I'd already used the coping mechanisms she suggested. I really didn't want that to be it. I didn't want to think that my current mental state was the best it was ever going to get. Although much better than it was, it's still not great. I was booked in within a month, not bad with a waiting list of over a hundred people. I went to the waiting room and I started to panic. My eyes were threatening tears. I texted my boyfriend. "I'm scared and I want to go home." What if this was going to be the same as before? What if I ...