Yesterday, I went out in long pair of jeans and a crop top (see photo below). You can't see much, right? Just some of my abdomen, and a scar on it which I believed was most prominent. Yet a man in his 60's eyed my stomach and said that I looked lovely (and hastily added my mother into this sleazy 'compliment' as we both gave him a look).
It was a warm day, so would he have noticed if I was wearing shorts, which would've showed more skin?
Honestly, it's likely. For some reason, no matter what skin I show, it's sexual.
Why do so many men do this? Why do they stare at women. I was told that this is "normal", but I don't blatantly stare at guys in public. I don't look at them as an object to be viewed, I see them as people.
This reminds me of a play, "A Dolls House". If you're unfamiliar with it, it's set in a more 'traditional' time, and Nora is being scandalous for forging a signature and borrowing money. At one point, her husband says; "I think she is worth looking at".
Because she's pretty? Because you see her as a prized possession to show off?
In this world, if a man comes up to me and expresses sexual interest, he'll be more respectful of the fact that I have a boyfriend, rather than I'm not interested.
Why should I be treated this way? Why shouldn't my feelings matter? Why am I an object?
My first catcall was when I was twelve years old by a much older boy who was at least seventeen. That's frankly quite scary.
We're living in a world where that's normal and women who are assaulted and raped are left apologising.
Women are far more than sex objects. Even women who work in the sex industry (prime example, Ashe Maree) have more to offer than sex. When I get stared down, I feel that I'm being looked at as a sex object. Don't get me wrong, sex is great and natural, but I, and every woman has so much more to offer. Take Ashe Maree, she's beautiful and sexy, but she's also kind and funny, hard working and appreciative.
Men, I am in no way calling you monsters. The society we live in is rather fucked up, and men are widely taught that women are there to be pretty and for sex, and are lesser than men. I'm not saying it's bad to find a girl attractive, but staring at her, pestering her, or greeting her with "You're beautiful" is just creepy. The next time you see someone you find attractive, look beyond the outside. What are they like? Hilarious, boring, artistic, inquisitive?
And for the love of God, if one of your friends gets a girlfriend, don't treat her like a piece of meat, ignoring her or talking about her like she's not there. Lose that sense of entitlement that society has taught you to have.
At the end of the day, I'm a woman. I'm a human being. I am intricate and complex, just like anyone else. And I can walk down that street naked if I wanted to, but it's my body and you have no right to it, like I have no right to yours.
"Girls are not machines that you can put kindness coins into until sex falls out."
-Sylvia Plath
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What are your thoughts? Have you experienced this? Are you a guy that has seen this happen to your sisters or friends?
All comments are welcome but asked to be respectful.
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