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Going To University With A Mental Illness

If you've been wondering why my post schedule has gotten ridiculously bad, the title will answer your question.
It's no secret that I have GAD, it's no secret that I struggle on and off with depression and it's no secret that I'm a student now.

Even when starting college, I thought that this might not be impossible. To be blatantly, I'm an anxious fuck who sometimes considers suicide. That being said, my mother recently told me that I teach her a lot about endurance. I failed my maths exam, didn't get the grades I wanted, didn't get my first choice of college, have anxiety, have depressive episodes and thanks to the incompetence of many colleges (particularly DCU) and the CAO, the distance in my relationship resumed (long story short, he was in contact with them numerous times, surpassed the grades they asked for, then they suddenly realised that his level -the second highest in his country - isn't recognised here, after he moved over), yet I still smile.

I went into college through DARE and so had a small initial orientation. That was ok.
I went to 'normal' orientation. That was ok.
I've been to lectures with over 500 people and to classes with 20 people. That's been ok.
I've done homework and reading. That's been ok.

I was expecting every single thing to go wrong. I was expecting to be overwhelmed and I was expecting to leave. I didn't think I'd make friends or be interested to join clubs or societies or do anything but study.
I thought that in the biggest campus in Ireland, I'd scuttle through, afraid and minding my own business.
But you know what?
I'm ok.

Looking back and thinking why, it's because I've become less afraid to ask for help. I've asked people everyday, random people, for help, and I've realised that it's ok to do that. It doesn't piss anyone off (I promise), it doesn't make you weak or seem stupid. Even if it's to ask directions or how to open a locker, you become more comfortable in the environment you're in. I myself have realised that the atmosphere is far different than I imagined it to be. No one will judge you for asking for help. And I know from personal experience, that if you don't ask for help, you will most likely be miserable and drop out.

So if you're entering a new environment and you have a mental health issue, try and start on a new plate. Don't be afraid to ask for help, because it's the best thing you'll ever do.

~~~~
I try my upmost best to post weekly, but whilst I'm trying to get used to a new routine, it could be a ten day period :') but check back once a week or check out my social media (twitter is the best place for finding out when new posts are out)
I know I usually link these but no laptop at the moment, they're linked in previous posts!
twitter.com/justaoifethings
facebook.com/justaoifethings
Instagram.com/justaoifethings

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