Don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of bad therapists. But I currently have an excellent therapist. The latter seems to get ignored, and people who are entertaining the idea of counseling are bombarded with horror stories, which puts them off. So let's talk about the good stories.
I think there's a general stereotypical idea of therapists. An old man, who makes you lie on a couch, and doesn't do much but ask you to 'go on' every few minutes. I can tell you that my sessions are nothing like that. Whilst my therapist is a man, there's not an uncomfortable age gap between us. There is no weird couch. It often starts with him asking how my week has been. I tell him, and usually something weird has happened and we'll start with that. If not, he'll ask me how I want to use the time. I can just go and rant if I wish (and honestly, that's what I did last week). That being said, therapy isn't necessarily this clinical space. I have had a few laughs in my appointments. I told him that one day that I wore blue lipstick and my nana rang my mom in concern, and we had a laugh about it. I also told him about my first tattoo, and he cringed but chuckled at my mom's disapproval. I told him that I like to write, so he asked about that until I told him that I was writing a (very amateur) novel, and he was really enthusiastic about it, and wanted to know more.
In sessions where it does get emotionally taxing, there's no judgement on his part, which makes the whole thing far more comfortable. I'm a crier. I cry a lot, and I often feel embarrassed about it. Certain things make me cry with no exception. It came up in one session where I was feeling particularly vulnerable, as we sat on the floor, and were going through my memories, putting down rocks for bad ones, and flowers for good ones. I ended up apologising, saying that I cried over everything.
"Give yourself a break."
It made me feel ok. His demeanor doesn't change when I get upset, nor does he panic, which just keeps me calm.
I'm also educated during therapy. I now know that I'm exhausted due to anxiety, and how to combat that. I know know what happens to my brain and body when I have a panic attack.
I wrote a blog post way back when I started therapy, which you can read here. As you can see, therapy has exceeded my expectations. This is what therapy is supposed to be like. Relaxed, informative, helpful, client led. If I don't want to talk about anything, if there's something I don't want him to do, I just have to ask. But I haven't had to yet, because he's doing therapy right. And from what I hear, this is more common than not (but if you're in Ireland, do not go through CAMHS. It's awful. I don't know anyone who has had a good experience there. If you have no other option, perhaps try, but please be wary). If you're thinking about therapy, just go for it. If you can't afford it, do some research. There is options out there for you. My therapy is free, and I wouldn't be able to afford it otherwise.
If you want another more personal insight to therapy, Dodie Clark and Tessa Violet discuss it here (I follow Dodie on Snapchat too, she's very open about her mental health, which I find very comforting). They mention that not every therapist will suit you, and that's ok, and I think that's really important to remember going into this process.
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I try to blog weekly. Uni is time consuming, but the posts get up, even if they're a little late!
Come say hi;
Twitter; @justaoifethings
Facebook; Justaoifethings
Instagram; Justaoifethings
I think there's a general stereotypical idea of therapists. An old man, who makes you lie on a couch, and doesn't do much but ask you to 'go on' every few minutes. I can tell you that my sessions are nothing like that. Whilst my therapist is a man, there's not an uncomfortable age gap between us. There is no weird couch. It often starts with him asking how my week has been. I tell him, and usually something weird has happened and we'll start with that. If not, he'll ask me how I want to use the time. I can just go and rant if I wish (and honestly, that's what I did last week). That being said, therapy isn't necessarily this clinical space. I have had a few laughs in my appointments. I told him that one day that I wore blue lipstick and my nana rang my mom in concern, and we had a laugh about it. I also told him about my first tattoo, and he cringed but chuckled at my mom's disapproval. I told him that I like to write, so he asked about that until I told him that I was writing a (very amateur) novel, and he was really enthusiastic about it, and wanted to know more.
In sessions where it does get emotionally taxing, there's no judgement on his part, which makes the whole thing far more comfortable. I'm a crier. I cry a lot, and I often feel embarrassed about it. Certain things make me cry with no exception. It came up in one session where I was feeling particularly vulnerable, as we sat on the floor, and were going through my memories, putting down rocks for bad ones, and flowers for good ones. I ended up apologising, saying that I cried over everything.
"Give yourself a break."
It made me feel ok. His demeanor doesn't change when I get upset, nor does he panic, which just keeps me calm.
I'm also educated during therapy. I now know that I'm exhausted due to anxiety, and how to combat that. I know know what happens to my brain and body when I have a panic attack.
I wrote a blog post way back when I started therapy, which you can read here. As you can see, therapy has exceeded my expectations. This is what therapy is supposed to be like. Relaxed, informative, helpful, client led. If I don't want to talk about anything, if there's something I don't want him to do, I just have to ask. But I haven't had to yet, because he's doing therapy right. And from what I hear, this is more common than not (but if you're in Ireland, do not go through CAMHS. It's awful. I don't know anyone who has had a good experience there. If you have no other option, perhaps try, but please be wary). If you're thinking about therapy, just go for it. If you can't afford it, do some research. There is options out there for you. My therapy is free, and I wouldn't be able to afford it otherwise.
If you want another more personal insight to therapy, Dodie Clark and Tessa Violet discuss it here (I follow Dodie on Snapchat too, she's very open about her mental health, which I find very comforting). They mention that not every therapist will suit you, and that's ok, and I think that's really important to remember going into this process.
-----------------------
I try to blog weekly. Uni is time consuming, but the posts get up, even if they're a little late!
Come say hi;
Twitter; @justaoifethings
Facebook; Justaoifethings
Instagram; Justaoifethings
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