justaoifethings

I feel as if I only wrote about a suicide, and here I am again, writing about another. It's devastating. Tears are in my eyes, and I did not know Cathriona. But her loss of life tugs at my heart. The fact she took her own life pummels it. I feel like I'm lost for words. Like Daniel Kyre and all the other people before her that committed suicide, they have done something irreversible. They have scarred their family and friends, most likely unintentionally. I can never say this enough, Depression corrupts the mind. Depression feeds you lies. Talk to people if you feel ending your life is a good option. Depression wants you to do this. It makes you feel it's right. But trust me, it is not. Cathriona is another light extinguished by her own hands. She isn't the first. And gut wrenchingly, she won't be the last. Right now, unimaginable amounts of people are contemplating suicide. People have killed themselves today, and just because they weren't in the ne...

You can't do that. I'm told this a lot by my mother. She's anxious, and she probably means it with all good intentions. But to me, it makes me feel like I'm not good enough. I feel like I can't wear the clothes I enjoy. I feel like I can't get the grades I need for the uni I've dreamed of going to. I feel like I can't be independent. I feel like I'm not good enough. In June, I'll be moving out. My boyfriend and I will be working part time whilst going to college, and she's insisting we won't be able to afford it. She insists we'll be too stressed. She insists we won't enjoy college. She insists You can't do that. She wants me to live in my grandmothers and for my boyfriend to live on his own, which angers me. Why should I live somewhere rent free when he struggles on his own? We want to live together. We've lived in different countries our entire relationship, and we want to live together now. We don't care...

If you are unfamiliar with my 'Dear Becky' series, a previous post entitled Dear Becky will fully inform you. Dear Becky You know what? Fuck you. Why are you so afraid of doing an experiment in class? You don't have the teacher you hate anymore. Why are you afraid of going into that class? The teacher is one of the most relaxed and laid backed teachers who actually gets a lot of work done - you should love him. You should be relaxed going into his class. New people and new things aren't scary. The prefect training is a pain in the face, but you're not missing important classes or classes that are hard to catch up on, like maths and history. You have a biology test on Friday, and that's ok. You've studied for ages. You've looked at exams questions. You studied, studied, and restudied chapters and are going to do the same before Friday and on Friday morning. You'll be fine. Maths is also fine. You're a little confused, but you've on...

Daniel Kyre was a part of a youtube group called Cyndago. Daniel Kyre is dead. Daniel Kyre tried to kill himself. I didn't know who Daniel Kyre was. I didn't know who Cyndago was. I had never watched their videos. I had never heard their names. But my heart grew heavy as I read what happened to him, and I can't imagine the pain his friends and family are going through. Daniel Kyre was a friend. Daniel Kyre was a son. Daniel Kyre was a brother. Daniel Kyre was a smile for hundreds of thousands of people who didn't personally know him. Daniel Kyre was depressed. Daniel Kyre had enough. Daniel Kyre didn't get the help he needed. Daniel Kyre did something irreversible. Daniel Kyre has impacted so many lives in a way I doubt he thought was possible. His father is heartbroken. His sister is heartbroken. His friends are heartbroken. Their lives won't ever be the same. Little things will remind them of Daniel. Daniel won't ever leave them, and ...

We are becoming desensitised at an alarming rate. We live in a world of famine, war, torture and cruelty, but it seems to pass over our heads. We are presented with images of starving kids on our televisions since childhood. We are told about mere skeletons of people who are dying horrific deaths since a young age. We are taught about war and famine when we were in primary school. We live in an age of mind blowing special effects and films and video games. We grow up with violent cartoons and toys modelled from weapons. How much of this does it take for a human to lose their sense of humanity? How much more do we need to forget that we're all people? We scorn Hitler for the mass murder of Jews, gypsies and the disabled. They're humans too, of course, and he deserves one of the worst names in history. But who's to say we're not as bad on an individual level? I watched as a Hungarian reporter tripped a man fleeing from a war torn country with a little girl in his arm...

Dear Becky; A new series I intend to continue. Becky is a big part of my life. Becky is my anxiety. If you have read my previous blog posts, you will know that naming my anxiety has given me great control and power, but Becky is still alive and can be strong. I find great comfort in writing things down. It helps me to think rationally, something Becky fights hard to prevent. Dear Becky will be my writing to Becky, to counteract the anxiety that she's called me. I will write to see what is real and what is Becky fuelled. Will you find it interesting? Maybe not. Unless you're interested in a mind corrupted with anxiety. I know my mental health is the most important thing, and if it helps me cope with life, then that's amazing. If someone reads this, and learns how to deal with their own mental illness or learns how to understand someone in their life with a mental illness, then even better. Dear Becky, You were strong today. I don't know why. But I didn't let ...

Just a little boy. A poor, defenseless baby, washed up dead, his corpse being plastered all over the interent. Dead, trying to avoid certain death. But he is not the only one. An unimaginable amount of Syrian fleeing their country, and countless countries refusing them entry. Who are we to refuse them entry? Who are we to ignore a people crying out for help? Syrians aren't parasites, trying to feed off us. They mean no harm. They're people. They're humans. Like you and I. So who are we to condemn them to a tragic death? Who are we, mere humans, to be able to play god in these humans lives, forcing them to stay in a war ridden land? Who were we to allow Syrians to become so afraid, so desperate, that small kids are washing up on our selfish shores? We are condemning thousands of kids just like them to their deaths every day. What in the world makes us think that this is ok? Why are we so privileged? Why are they not treated like people?