justaoifethings

I never thought I'd make it to 18. No, I was going to die. I thought I was going to kill myself because my internal world was unbareable. Thankfully, as seen in my last post, I was able to overcome, and here I am. No thanks to the Irish government or health system. The first psychologist I saw had a disgusting bedside manner. He seemed to judge me for the areas I had wanted to choose to cut. He made no attempt to make me comfortable, to help me articulate my feelings. He acted as if I wasn't human, as if I was a test subject from one of his books, not even looking at me to tell me I have depression. The second psychologist I saw was in the same facility. I walked into his office, and he barely even knew my name. Flustered, he was skimming through my file, asking me questions he should have known, making the situation highly uncomfortable for me. The counsellor I saw in that facility was not qualified for my situation. I was sixteen years old at the time, and she constantly ...

Cycle against suicide is an organisation to break the cycle of suicide. Note the very clever name. I've written about this awesome organisation before here . A group of cyclists led by Jim Breen cycle around Ireland, brining a message that it's ok not to be ok, and it's ok to ask for help. I have always been very vocal about mental health in my school, so when teachers approached me to write this speech, and cycle against suicide kindly allowed it, I was delighted to do so. ~ I, like one in three of you, if not even more, suffer from mental illness. I have a severe form of anxiety called GAD and have had depression so bad, that I was on the brink of suicide. And I know that sounds scary, but the point is that I'm still here. My mental health really started to go down the drain when I was in third year. As I'm sure the present third years know, the junior cert can be daunting. That, mixed with personal problems outside of school, triggered a mental breakdown....

I will stand up and admit that I used to be a toxic person. I was surrounded by toxicity for so long, I unknowingly adopted the techniques, thinking they were normal. This doesn't mean that I was a bad person, but a person with bad experiences and bad behaviours. To stop hurting the people you care about, it's important to recognise toxic behaviours, so you can stop them. 1: Being Passive Agressive "Fine, whatever." "K." You don't express your feelings, but you say things that you know will make the other uncomfortable, or feel guilty. You 'keep score' with someone. If someone is annoyed at you, you reflect it with, "Well, at least I didn't do (insert grudge here)". 2: Never Apologising A toxic person often feels like a wounded animal. They do everything they can, and feel wrongly attacked if someone questions their actions. It's easy to forget that other people have feelings too, and even if trying your best, you are no...

I couldn't breathe. My chest jumped with forced half heaves, the air trying to scramble into my lungs, my lungs refusing. I just couldn't goddamn breathe. The tears flowed, I wasn't conscious of them for a while, until the fragile skin under my eyes started to sting with the sudden overdose of salt. I couldn't breathe, but I could stand and wring my fingers through my hair, trying to explain why I was panicking to a concerned teacher through chaotic breathes, barely able to speak. I couldn't breathe as I tried to smile at my newly found friends who looked at me both concerned and confused, unsure of what to do or say, whether to stay or go. I couldn't breathe as I was so utterly dissapointed at the fact that I hadn't had a panic attack in school all year, but I was having the worst panic attack I'd ever had at that moment. I couldn't fucking breathe because a teacher, a male over six foot, decided to completely lose the plot at me, telling me ...

If you're unaware of what this series is, see the first installment here . Dear Becky, I think it's you who I'm talking to. When it comes to my body, I'm not exactly sure. I was so happy with my body for a long time, but I know it was because I lost a lot of weight. I wasn't able to gain any, so I was able to eat like a normal person. My weight has finally settled, at a weight that's lighter than my original, but I'm panicking. Is it you who is making me think I look fat? Is it you who is making me see my body in a distorted image? Is it you who's making me feel awful about myself? Becky, do you make me not want to eat, to exercise excessively? I know it's ridiculous, I don't need to write to you to know that. When I exercise outside of my usual routine, I'm internally yelling at myself the entire time. But, when I eat, I wish I hadn't. I wish I could reverse half of what I've eaten today, and I'm dreading dinner. What ar...

Media, you've done it again. An article was released about a seemingly scandalous photo from the well known Youtuber, Zoe Sugg, also known as Zoella. Zoe really needs no introduction. With a mass following around the world, she has a whopping 10 million YouTube subscribers (and counting), a successful blog, a gorgeous beauty range, two best selling books, has worked with charities and has brought awareness to anxiety disorders. Of course, this level of success means that Zoe is in the limelight. Like anyone who is popular in a social career, she's under the scrutiny of the media. Seen below is a photo Zoe uploaded on her snapchat, and, oh gasp, a tiny peek of underwear. Of course, this article is released, seemingly trying to shame Zoe for being 'revealing'. Don't get me wrong, if Zoe wanted to put herself naked on the internet, I wouldn't care. But, she is obviously trying to be shamed, and just because she's a woman. With tabloid story after tabloid...

Birds flew high over Dublin City When the first shot was fired Startled, they watched As the famous street descended into chaos Roars were thrown Screams struggled to stay in Tears drowned But nothing stopped Men from two sides If they could even yet be called men Attacked eachother And the birds could not figure out why A hundred years later The blood had long been gone from the famous street And something was different in the air ~ It's almost the centenary of the 1916 Easter Rising! We remember the men and women who fought for Ireland to be a free and democratic nation, those that died in the fight and those who were executed after to set the pathway for a new nation. I felt the best way I could commemorate this was to do what I know best; to write Hope you enjoyed! I write a new blog every Wednesday Facebook: justaoifethings Twitter: @justaoifethings Instagram: @justaoifethings