justaoifethings

Don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of bad therapists. But I currently have an excellent therapist. The latter seems to get ignored, and people who are entertaining the idea of counseling are bombarded with horror stories, which puts them off. So let's talk about the good stories. I think there's a general stereotypical idea of therapists. An old man, who makes you lie on a couch, and doesn't do much but ask you to 'go on' every few minutes. I can tell you that my sessions are nothing like that. Whilst my therapist is a man, there's not an uncomfortable age gap between us. There is no weird couch. It often starts with him asking how my week has been. I tell him, and usually something weird has happened and we'll start with that. If not, he'll ask me how I want to use the time. I can just go and rant if I wish (and honestly, that's what I did last week). That being said, therapy isn't necessarily this clinical space. I have had a f...

I've always been advised to stay away from modelling. With my anxiety, people were sure that my body issues would become worse and develop into a disorder. This was so much so that I've rejected an offer from an agency before. Though, this year, the UCD fashion show was in aid of a mental health charity, so I decided to audition, and to my surprise, was given a place. It turns out, that modelling in this environment, is extremely healthy. There was a huge diversity of races, ethnicities, sexualities, body types and personalities. Never once did I feel inferior to anyone else, or that anyone was more or less beautiful than I was. The organisers were lovely and so encouraging (shout out to Jenny and Baker). It was a rare instance that I felt that I can, rather than I can't. Their manner of constructive criticism was perfect, that my chronic anxiety didn't take it the wrong way. For once, I felt OK about doing something extracurricular. During my secondary school career...

I know this blog is usually a mental health blog, but that was unintentional. I have some mental health posts lined up, as it is a topic I of course really care about (I spoke at a Congress for Cycle Against Suicide the other week), but I am living on the same earth as you are, and I want to address the elephant in the room. Since Donald Trump has been elected, the atmosphere of the world has changed. People are living in fear. I will keep this short and sweet, because this is all rather simple. Torture is not ok. Trying to ban people from coming into a country just because they come from Muslim countries is not ok (deny it all you want, Donald, it's obvious what you're at). Taking away Planned Parenthood which not only provides abortions, but cancer screenings, is not ok (do not argue that you are pro-life with me when you do nothing but campaign for unborn fetuses', support people who said that unwanted pregnancies are all a woman's fault, disregard women's li...

Today is both a bleak, yet amazing day. Donald Trump is officially president of the United States of America with Mike Pence at his side (you can see why I hope they will be impeached here ). This hatred has been met with the amazing Women's March. Today, I am so proud to be a woman. I am so proud to be a feminist. I am so proud of all the women, all the men, all the humans, no matter what they identify as, standing up for human rights. Today, I am also frustrated. I cannot be in Dublin, standing side by side with people, standing up for what I believe in, for I am terrified of crowds. I am terrified to be in a large and loud crowd, so much so, I had a panic attack the last time I was in a similar situation. GAD and panic disorder have often kept me away from cool shit, but this is the thing that upsets me the most. I vowed not to be afraid to proudly use my voice for feminist issues recently, and not being at a march today feels like I'm cheating on everyone. But I'm no...

There's people in this world who don't understand mental illness. That's ok. I know I have discussed in frustration before people's sheer ignorance, but I don't plan on doing that today. I understand that it's easy to get annoyed when people are blatantly rude and uneducated about mental health, but, getting angry will help no-one, especially not you. Sometimes, when I feel that people are on the edge of attacking me over my anxiety and depression, I have to take a step back. I have to remember that these are people who have not gone through what I have gone through and have no idea how difficult mental illness can be. Sometimes I wonder if they honestly don't mean to downplay the severity of mental health, but rather are asking blunt questions or making direct comments in an attempt to understand or help. It must be easy to not realise how life-consuming your illness is, when all they is your 'put together' self. They will see this; And ...

I think it's hard to know what it's like for someone with anxiety. Without having it, it's impossible to know how it feels to have anxious thoughts constantly throughout the day. To try and illustrate the extent of these thoughts, I tried my best to take note of all the thoughts I have in one day. Am I real? Did I wake up too late? Is everyone ok? What if there was a burglar in the night? What if he murdered everyone? How would I save them? What if someone I know did it? How will I call 999 without them catching me? How would I survive the PTSD? Is he dead or alive? Alive. Phew. Breakfast. What if I don't like anything that's there? What if I turn off the alarm incorrectly and it starts to blare, waking everyone up? They'd be angry at me. I don't think I remember this code right. Thank god I did it right. I have to let the dog out. Make sure the door is locked. Check it. Turn the kettle on. I could burn my skin off. Check it again. I...

There is no denying that there is an epidemic of mental illness among us all, and it's particularly prevalent in teenagers and young adults. We live in a society where teenagers are spending roughly thirty three hours in an education facility each week. Teachers inevitably become a daily influence. It seems logical that teachers would have some knowledge in how to cope with the hundreds of students they look after. But they don't. And, quite frankly, I find that appalling, especially living in a country with one of the highest mental illness rates in the world (Read more about that here ). I was known among my teachers for being mentally ill in secondary school. It was never a secret, and I couldn't hide it, even if I wanted to. There was often nowhere for me to go, so I was usually in the canteen, where everyone would walk through to go from class to class, having panic attacks. My panic attacks were never discreet. I would hyperventilate, sob, shake and curl up, and i...